Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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