I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
