where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Randomize