I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize