Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
