I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
