I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
