As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
