I want to make a zoo with you.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
