I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
