i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Quick, to the slutcave!
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
