i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
