Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
