I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
