For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
