And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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