oh god the rape fog is back!
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
