puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
