I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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