i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
