I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
