Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
