it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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