What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
