Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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