to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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