16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
