I cut my penus on the lid.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Damn victory sex feels great
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
