just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
