8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Randomize
