Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
