Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
