Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
