I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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