Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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