i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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