You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I think a kid would responsible me up
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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