Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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