Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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