You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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