Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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