Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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