do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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