Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
