there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
