yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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