Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
