He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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