We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
We need to rekindle our bromance
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Randomize
