what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
