Duck Duck Cougar?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
