puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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