im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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