So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Randomize
