She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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