NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Found the puke drawer
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
