The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
