it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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