using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
