You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize