i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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