so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
