He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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