I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
