dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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