How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
