Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
i've created a new STD.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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