I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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