we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
