I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
