I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
